Apple Store Employee: "You don't need an iPad."

Posted by OCEntertainment | Posted on 12:22 PM

Happy iPad day, everyone. Yep, it's finally here. The flippin' iPad. The salvation you've been waiting for. The revolution in computing that's going to bring all the computational tools of computing to the masses that are unable to compute using their computers.

But there's one question that any gadget maker needs to answer to the consumer: "Why should I buy this?" The iPad is no exception.

Now, normally I prefer to be sarcastic, ironic, or sardonic on this blog. But I want to clarify before I continue: the following story is one hundred percent true.

Today, on iPad Opening Day, I drove down to my local Apple Store to check out this magical, unbelievab-CRAP! See? I've been listening to the hype so much that I'm even quoting the advertising copy to describe it. That's it. After listening to the promos and arguments and blah blah blah...I need some clarity. So I walked up to the first Apple employee I saw that looked like he knew what he was talking about and said this:

Me: "I have $1000 to lay down on whatever model [of iPad] you've got*, if you can convince me to buy one..."
Employee: "Ok"
Me: "....without using the words 'magical', 'revolutionary', or 'it will change the way you blank'."

This gave the guy pause for a moment. Which was amusing to me. Then again, I like watching people squirm. But it was the next bit of the conversation that surprised me the most. After all the arguments, all the future predictions, after all the religious loyalty and endless bickering I've been a part of online, this was possibly the most frank assessment of the iPad, and it came from a trained Apple employee:

Me: "Alright, I have a laptop and a desktop. What do I need this for?"
Employee: "There is not necessarily a need. What I would say is that there is a lot of enjoyment in using it."

So there it is. Right there in black and white from a ground-floor, front-lines Apple representative. If you have a laptop, a desktop, or both, you do not need an iPad.

You can call it just the opinion of some grunt-level employee. But you know what? This guy knew his stuff. As a cynic who is just tired of the iPad coverage, I find it funny. But he's right. The iPad does not add any utility to the gadgets you already have. Note, I didn't even mention I have a smartphone. From this guy's perspective it's not a replacement or an improvement on any of the others. It's just a nice gadget. It's something cool to have.

He didn't tell me it was going to change computing forever. He didn't tell me it's a piece of crap for not having Flash. He said that it's fun to play games on it. That there's some apps that make watching media cool. I mean, I can do it on a laptop, but an iPad is also pretty cool.

I don't know about you, but I like this guy. To everyone besides him on the entire stinking planet: you're doing it wrong.

Comments (1)

Brilliant.

My best friend (J) called me from SoCal this morning - he was on vacation and stopped by to visit one of our old friends (M) that moved to Fresno, who happens to be a Mactard. (J) is something of an Apple guy, too. He has an iPhone and his wife, a Macbook.

Needless to say, they were together in line at the Apple store this morning.

I received several text messages from (J) this morning. At first he was amused by the freaks and the fun people were having in line, noting how every one of them probably got beat up a lot in high school. But then his messages took a tone where he seemed annoyed, then even disturbed. At one point a car passed by where someone yelled "NEEEERDS" out the window. "A new low," was how he put it.

The story ends with him going inside, playing with the demo, and not buying it. His words?

"Too much for what it did."

See, this is why he's my friend.

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